


We Are Glamily

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-03 23:02:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was important to Adam that the crew gather together in their down time on tour to reinforce old bonds and make new connections.  Whether it be good times or bad, nobody should ever have to celebrate solo or grieve alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Are Glamily

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted by recent events, tweets, and rumors to write a fly-on-the-wall kind of story, one possible night on the WAG tour. I don't know these people, but I base the characters merely on my impressions of the glimpses we've been given. I represent them with imperfections that are intended to be realistic, not derogatory or stereotypical. There is absolutely no harm intended. This story is for entertainment purposes only. 
> 
> Also, this fic is sexy / platonic but not explicit. If you're in a racy kind of mood right now, this one may not do it for you. (Read one of my other fics instead . . . LOL!)

Ashley decided to go to the party. The call home had been a somber reminder of love’s good fortune as transitory as it may be. She was struck with a case of homesickness that she hadn’t anticipated. The most comforting truth for Ashley in this difficult time was that she now had another family to rely on . . . unconventional, perhaps, but solid. Adam and the rest of the crew were there for her when Ashley got word her beloved Miss Ellie had passed, the last vestige of her childhood. Her appreciation was multiplied tenfold when she didn’t have to explain to them the depth of the loss since Miss Ellie was after all, only a horse. They understood, family is family – no exceptions. Still, there was a job to do, and Ashley knew she had to move on in spite of her sorrow. She wondered if she was making a mistake joining her tour mates for a party this soon. They were all exhausted and actually slept quite a lot in their free time. As their leader, Adam believed having space was important but in order to stay in sync on stage, bonds had to be reinforced once in a while. Tonight, they were going to hang out together in Adam’s suite before the next leg of the journey. Adam never asked for anything else but their best and their presence. Ashley decided to go because her hotel room was too quiet, she could use a drink, and Adam himself would be disappointed if she was absent.

For Ashley, Adam was more important than she wanted to admit. This far away from home, she found herself uncharacteristically insecure. She didn’t feel totally safe until Adam entered the room. His confidence was contagious. She reasoned away that her interest was anything akin to a crush. She was simply at a point in her life when she was filled with uncertainty about what came next. The WAG tour would end . . . then what? For the time being, this gig with Adam had been a blessing. Last year, she was actually contemplating a new direction when opportunity knocked. Adam was her boss, but he served her more as a mentor. She could learn from him something about the business and maybe even something about herself. 

When they first met, Ashley knew Adam detected shyness. She liked him immediately but hid her affection by playing it coolly aloof just in case Adam said thanks but no thanks. As they spent more time together, she let him in. Behind Ashley’s quiet disposition was a bright young woman, smart and clever. Adam loved surrounding himself with playmates and divas, but Ashley was a refreshing exception. He sought her out. The two of them could talk about film, art, and fashion. They’d even read some of the same books. Their conversations were brief, limited by Adam’s tight schedule, but sometimes, especially when the others were dramatic and chatty, Ashley would look at him, serenely smiling and know that the two of them were thinking the same thing.

When Ashley knocked on Adam’s door, Terrance let her in. “Hey, baby girl.”

“Hi.” They hugged.

“You get a chance to call your folks?”

“Yeah, I called them.”

He rubbed her arm and made a sweet face. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” It only meant she didn’t want to talk about it. Of course, she missed her beloved pet, but there was so much more that Miss Ellie’s death had revealed. It marked the end of chapter in her own life. Ashley felt that doors were closing behind her. It was too much to explain. Ashley looked past Terrance. She needed to see Adam . . . really, really needed to see him all of a sudden. When the main room of the suite opened up, she noticed immediately that Adam wasn’t there. 

“Adam went with Rick to get some food and shit. You want a drink?”

“Yes, please.” Ashley was disappointed. Everyone welcomed her arrival, but her smile faded. She didn’t want to have to pretend with them. Thankfully, they were all busy doing something . . . talking, drinking, watching Japanese TV. Brian and Tommy were trying out a new chord progression. They were playing softly, and Terrance moved to the rhythm as he mixed Ashley something strong. Ashley thumbed through a tourist brochure on the kitchenette counter and waited.

When she heard the key card in the door, it startled her. Terrance’s dimpled grin made him look like a child. “Hey, everybody, Daddy’s home!!” He ran to the door. Rick passed him quickly and put the heavy bags on the counter. Terrance took the box of take out from Adam’s arms as he shook away the chill. He pulled off his beanie and saw Ashley. 

“Hey, doll.” He smiled and tucked her under his arm. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” Adam looked her over skeptically. “Really, I’m fine.” 

“Okay, then.” He kissed her gently on the forehead.

Terrance’s eyes bugged once the bags were unpacked. “Whoa, this is a helluva lotta food, Adam.”

Rick rolled his eyes playfully. “We went to at least four different markets and two carry outs before, Your Royal Highness found what he wanted.”

“I wish I could speak Japanese.” Adam picked up a container and smelled it. He grimaced. “Uh, I don’t think that’s what I wanted.”

Rick started to laugh. “Oh no, mystery meat! Did you guys see that story about them putting horse meat in the . . .”

Terrance kicked him and whispered through gritted teeth. “Wutizzamattrwithu?” 

“Ah, shit. I’m sorry, Ash. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. Really, you don’t . . . ” 

Brian came in and interrupted. “Damn! This is way better than room service.”

It was a bit of a sore subject. Everything in Japan was pricey, but room service was ridiculous. Management gave Adam an exorbitant allowance for extra expenses, but he had put himself on a strict budget anyway. He wasn’t taking any chances. The band knew Adam had been thrown a curve when the Trespassing tour became merely a few shows overseas. It hurt, but Adam learned he would never take something like Glam Nation for granted ever again. He had to look on the bright side. A handful of shows were better than none. Adam and his team were already talking enthusiastically about the third album, but he still had to wait for a while. Over the last year, Adam had become the poster boy for patience in his personal life too. That was another sore subject everyone tired hard to avoid. On the surface, nothing was wrong, and that’s where Adam wanted to keep it. Inevitably, the situation created whispers and tiptoes. 

The others filed in praising the lush feast. The kitchenette was crowded, but they didn’t mind being in each other’s space. With the squeeze of an elbow or a pat on a bottom, they made room. They filled their plates and ate. They laughed and drank and shared stories. Adam was abnormally quiet. He seemed contemplative, but his mood remained light. Ashley sat across the room a little apart from the rest and watched him. Sometimes their eyes met.

Once dinner was over, they split into smaller groups. Johnny was perched on the back of the chaise where Keisha sat. He was fluffing her wig while she did her nails. Tommy and Brian took at least half an hour setting up a video game. The only objective seemed to be ‘shoot everything’. Once they figured that out, they began to play. Rick watched. Reyna was on the phone, as usual, and she didn’t seem to mind if people overheard. Ashley, herself sat cross-legged in a deep upholstered chair checking her Facebook for happier news back home. That left Terrance who was currently tormenting the hell out of Adam. He wanted to go dancing at a club, but Adam was firm that they stay in. Adam was visiting a bit with everyone until Terrance put some funk on the stereo and a hat on Adam’s head. Now he had Adam’s sole attention. He and Terrance were making everyone laugh with even bawdier dance moves than the ones on stage. Terrance was sliding up close and copping a feel here and there. Adam was grinning but skittish. “Hey, watch it. One of these nights you’re gonna rub one off on my ass out there.” Their sexy bump and grind was only for fun, but Adam wasn’t immune. It felt a little too good. Adam finally decided enough was enough and plopped down onto the couch to browse through a stack of fashion magazines.

The WAG tour made for a challenging schedule so Adam kept a rather strict authority over everyone. Under his leadership, Glam Nation had been a bit of a mess at times. Some of the crew were trying to maintain long distance relationships and failing. Some snuggled up with fuck buddies while others found comfort in strangers along the way. Adam, unfortunately, belonged at one point or another in every category. It was sloppy, professionally and personally. It had cost him, but Adam learned from it and vowed to be smarter for era two. This time, it would be different. It was a short tour, and they would be incredibly busy, so no screwing around with tour mates and no wild nights on the town passing the fuck out with a stranger then nursing a hangover until the next stop. Adam determined that if he could stand it, so could they. Terrance was suffering the most. He breathed, danced, and flirted with no particular priority. 

“Come on. Let’s dance.” 

“No, I’m done. It’s too hot in here.” Adam changed the topic. “Ashley, come here.” She gladly went to Adam’s side. “Look at THIS!” He showed her the latest runway styles revealed from New York’s Fashion Week. They talked about which ones would work for each other. “Ooo, that’s siiiiick! You’d be so sexy in that.” Ashley liked the attention.

Terrance lingered near Adam looking over his shoulder. “I just want to take the party to the street, sample the local flavor. You know what I mean.”

Tommy Joe and Brian were really getting into their game now. Tommy jumped up as if he needed more room to click/shoot or cuss, and Brian was cackling the whole time obviously winning. 

Adam noticed them and turned in their direction. “Hey, Tommy?”

“HO SHIT! DIE DAMN YOU!” 

“TOMMY!”

“WHAT?”

“WHAT’S THE RULE?”

“NO FUCKING! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!”

Adam gave Terrance a matter-of-fact shrug. “There you go . . . by the rules, Terrance.”

“By the rules?? Oh! Now there’s a big, fat piece of irony for you.” Adam didn’t budge which might have meant he was wearing down. “Come on, pleeeeease let’s go out. I didn’t mean lookin’ for trouble . . . just a taste.” 

Adam chuckled. “You sound like a junkie.”

Johnny spoke up from his perch. “Yeah, a dick junkie.”

Adam liked that. “It sounds like a radio personality.” He lowered his voice. “And now America’s Top 40 Countdown with Dick Junkie.”

“You mean Ryan Seacrest.”

“Precisely.” 

Terrance was giving up. “I’m just sayin’, a little mingling never hurt nobody.”

Johnny scolded him. “Excuse me, but I just MIGHT know someone who just MIGHT disagree.”

Terrance glared at him. “Mind your own business, Mary. We got an understanding between us.”

Johnny and Keisha exchanged a look. “He says he got an understanding. Did you hear that?”

Keisha filed her nails like she was sharpening cutlery. “Oh, I heard. I heard. My man and I got us an understanding too.”

“Nah!”

“Yes, we do. He understands that if he even LOOKS at another woman while I’m gone, he gonna wish he seen the light instead.”

Johnny raised a reverent hand. “Tell it, Mama. Gotta help a brother see the light.”

“Amen.” Keisha laughed like she sang. 

“Y’all too hard.” Reyna was off the phone finally. She could be immature, but she had a good heart. “I feel you, Terr. You just horny. Nothin’ to be shamed about.” She wandered over to Ashley to share the latest gossip from home. It was a running soap opera, and Ashley actually got a kick out of Reyna’s drama. It reminded her to appreciate those monotonous days that always pass ever so slowly.

Terrance sank onto the floor and rested his chin on Adam’s knee. “You one cold muthafuckuh, Mr. Bossman, suh.” Adam huffed. Terrance waited a moment then dropped the mocking tone and lowered his voice. “Just call the man, will you? Buy your boy a plane ticket for fuck’s sake.” 

Adam flipped the pages in the magazine until they snapped sharply. “He knows where I am.”

Terrance rolled his eyes. His whole body UGH-ed when he got up. Brian had won the video game and was giving Tommy shit. Terrance went over to see if they wanted to play cards with him and Rick. Tommy was all for it. “Yeah, let’s play some cards, goddammit! At least I can hold a drink.”

“Good idea! I need a fuckin’ drink.” Adam made cocktails for Johnny, Keisha, and Reyna while they searched for a movie channel to watch now that the boys were done with the gaming system. They narrowed their choices to two and wanted Adam to vote, but he said whatever was fine. Ashley became his waitress and taste-tester. The alcohol was helping her relax.

“AHHHH!!!” Terrance jumped straight up out of his chair and ran across the room clutching his phone. “My Boo, my Boo, my Boooooo!!”

There was a collective, “What the fuck, Terrance?”

Terrance was crying joyous tears. His boyfriend had texted. He was coming to meet them at the next stop, and he could stay a couple days. Ashley didn’t think she had ever seen anyone that happy . . . ever, and she was more than a little envious. He got another text, and his smile turned quizzical. He looked at Adam. “How come he’s thanking me? I didn’t send the tickets.” Now everyone was looking at Adam.

“It’s no big deal.”

“You did that? for me?” Terrance sailed into Adam’s arms. “I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it. I called in a favor is all. It was nothing.”

“It’s EVERYTHING! I don’t know what to say, Adam. Thank you!” Terrance gave him another hug, big enough to lift him off the floor. 

“All right, all right. You’re welcome.” Terrance commenced to float around the room.

Ashley watched Adam pour himself a shot of whiskey and down it. Tommy came in to get a beer from the fridge. He popped the cap and took a long swig. When Tommy didn’t say anything, Adam questioned his body language. “What?!”

Tommy sighed heavily. “Stop apologizing.”

Adam worked his mouth irritably then took another shot in one gulp. The burn made his voice low and husky. “I hear you.” 

“But you just don’t get it, do you?” Tommy shook his head and walked away. Rick was dealing him in.

Adam poured yet another shot, but Ashley stopped him. “Hey, can I have that one?”

Adam passed it over and watched her take it slow and steady. His charm began to glow and set a sexy lilt in his voice. “You wanna get drunk with me?”

Ashley wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Well, I would, but my boss has this rule about hangovers on the job.”

Adam made a pffft sound while he poured another round for them both. “Your boss is a cocksucker . . . AND an overbearing bore.”

“I don’t think so. What you did for Terrance was really sweet.”

“You know, our friendship right now is the same as it ever was. None of this has made any difference. I think Glam Nation was kind of a test.” Adam became pensive. “Terrance stayed with me because the tour meant nothing between us. But Tommy . . .Tommy stayed because the tour meant everything.”

“They love you, Adam.”

Adam gave her a sad smile. “I know. I just wish I’d been able to pull this off. I wanted to give them . . . more.” Ashley didn’t want to pry. Peals of laughter were coming from the living area, and the moment was lost. 

“You want to go watch the movie with them?”

“It’s probably a better idea than getting shit-faced.”

When Ashley got back from the bathroom, Adam was checking his iPhone for about the gazillionth time. She sat beside him on the couch, and he showed her pictures that Sauli had posted of himself on the internet. She cooed because Sauli was so beautiful and also because Adam had clicked LIKE on every frame. “Any word yet?”

“No. It’s only been a couple days this time.”

“It’ll be Helsinki soon.” 

Adam nodded but without enthusiasm as if NOT knowing might be better. He leaned closer. “Don't tell anyone, but he’s working on a project. It might be set LA.”

“Really? That's terrific.”

“Yeah, but it’s only a maybe. I don't know if it'll . . . I miss him.” 

Ashley squeezed his hand. Adam put his arm around her shoulders, and for a couple of blissful hours nothing hurt. 

Later, Ashley was somewhere just shy of consciousness. Adam’s voice sounded like it was coming from a tunnel, and she realized it was because her head was resting on his chest as he spoke. His melodic voice reverberated within the carriage of his ribs. When she stirred, Adam moved. She was ON him. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

Ashley blinked awake. “I fell asleep.”

“Yup.” Adam helped her sit up. She saw Tommy in the chair. 

“Hey, Ash.”

“Hey, Tommy.” Ashley had interrupted their conversation. She was ready to excuse herself, but Tommy beat her to it.

“I think it's time I get some shut eye. We can figure out sleeping arrangements later.”

Adam yawned. “No, fuck it, I’ll just make a call and get Terrance his own room.”

“Yeah, but then that leaves me in a room by myself, and it’s not necessary.”

Adam tilted his head mischievously. “I could downgrade to a double.” 

Tommy smirked and got up. “Downgrade my ass.”

“Guys, I have my own room. Tommy could sleep with me.”

Adam winked at him. “Oh, lucky boy.”

“That didn’t come out right.” Ashley was still trying to clear the fog.

“Thanks, Ash. No offense, but you snore even worse than he does.” Tommy kissed them both lazily. “See you tomorrow.” The door clicked behind him.

“Looks like we’re the sole survivors, doll.” 

“Yeah, it’s late.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Adam wriggled up off the couch and held out his hand. Ashley took it. “I’m going to walk you to your room.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I’m going to anyway.” Adam put on his jacket. He walked her all the way to her door and waited until she dug her key card out of the pocket of her pants. 

“Tonight was really nice, Adam. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Adam had something on his mind. “Ashley?”

“Yeah.”

“I got you something, but I don’t even know if you’re going to want it.”

Ashley wanted whatever it was like she wanted air. It didn’t matter what it was. “You got me something?”

“Yeah.”

Ashley was uneasy. She had done better at the party than she expected given the circumstances, but she didn’t trust herself not to get emotional now that she was back where she started standing outside an empty hotel room. Ashley definitely didn’t want to fall apart in the hallway. “Do you want to come in?”

Adam hesitated long enough that Ashley was about to rescind the offer in embarrassment. “Sure.” 

When Ashley flipped on the dim entry light, Adam’s presence immediately filled the small room. He looked around. “Oh my god, you’re so tidy. You definitely don’t want to room with Tommy. Or me either, for that matter. Well, . . . it’s not like . . . I just meant I’m messy, too.”

“I know what you meant.” She also knew that Adam chattered when he was nervous.

“So, um . . . Rick and I were shopping, and there are all these venders, you know.” Adam reached into his jacket and pulled out a small bundle wrapped in tissue. “I saw this, and it made me think of you.” He gave it to her sheepishly. 

“What is it?”

“It was an impulse.” Adam shrugged his shoulders as she unfolded the paper. “It’s a pony.” Ashley stared at the miniature plushy in her hand. “I think it’s a Pokemon character or something. There was a display, and . . . it was kind of stupid and not anything like your . . . your horse, but . . .” Adam stopped rambling as Ashley hesitantly touched the toy with her fingertips like it was breakable. 

“I love it.” Ashley had guessed right. This simple kindness sent her over the edge. She began to cry. One tear followed another even though she managed to keep her face as still as stone. 

“Hey are you okay?” Adam peered down and gently lifted her chin with his forefinger. He made a pitiful sound as if he turned over something precious only to find it cracked. “Aw, Ashley, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. I messed up.”

Ashley shook her head side to side, but she couldn’t speak. She needed time to sort all her feelings about everything. Instead, she felt an overwhelming responsibility to be polite, to ask Adam to sit down, to offer him a drink, but it was too awkward. One glance at Adam, and she could see he was as confused as she was. Then suddenly Adam scooped her into his arms, and something inside her broke free. The tears flowed. The more she trembled, the harder he held her.

“That’s it. Just let it go.” Adam may not have been aware what a full body hug from him could do to a person, but surrender was Ashley’s only option. She had been wandering around under a dark cloud for too long, and suddenly her senses awakened. It was as if Adam was sharing with her the most powerful essence of his being, the sunlight in his soul. She felt awash with his energy, and the intensity of it hurt in the most wonderful way. Ashley wished she could simply melt into his body, let him absorb her pain, her paralyzing uncertainty. He was so solid, so warm. Adam turned his cheek toward hers as she nuzzled into his neck. His lips were there, and she kissed them. She was shocked the second she’d done it, but then Adam was kissing back, and Ashley lost herself in him. Her world right now was the circle of his arms and the breadth of his chest. His mouth came down softly, completely, and Ashley drew breath from him. He cupped the back of her head and lifted her into it. His lips clung to hers. The need to take and then give even more pulled them deeper into one another. Their tongues met in a sweet caress more affectionate than Ashley had known in such a long, long time. This kiss was everything, and then it was over. Ashley could feel Adam’s heart pounding against hers as he whispered in her hair. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Ashley. I . . . I can’t.” 

Ashley stiffened, mortified that she crossed the line like that, but Adam wouldn’t let her go. “Shhh, don’t. It’s my fault, my fault.” 

Ashley buried her face in Adam’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what . . .”

“It’s the grief.” Adam waited until she let out the breath she’d been holding. “You needed something to take the ache away . . . even if it’s just for a moment.” Ashley realized Adam was talking about himself too. He was also grieving . . . over Sauli or his other baby, Trespassing. Just like in her own life, a certain peace of mind had slipped away from Adam and left a void. She should have known by the incredibly emotional performances of ‘Stay’, each night more woeful than the last. Adam barely touched her cheek with the back of his knuckles. Finally, she dared to look him in the eyes, and what she saw there, healed her. Adam was smiling lovingly . . . so open, just for her a glimpse of the man underneath. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so. Are you?”

“I’ll get by.” Adam squeezed her arms and took a step back. “I’m really glad you’re with us, Ashley. You know that, right?” Ashley nodded, grateful for his gentle letdown. “You’re so talented and you bring this really awesome energy to the show.” She noticed a shimmer in Adam’s eyes that hadn’t been there before. “I . . . I think I forget to tell people how important they are to me. I wanted you to know . . . I hope you stay on is all.”

Ashley sent a silent prayer to the universe that the tour would continue to do better and better and that whatever was going on with Sauli would be resolved swiftly and completely. The risk of getting close to Adam was the risk of getting cut to the core when his heart broke. She had seen that connection he shared with the others, and now she was connected too. She looked Adam up and down, at the beauty within and without. He was worth it. “I’m staying, Adam. I promise.”

“Even if I mess up?”

“That’s what family means.”

Adam sighed with relief and patted his chest over his heart. “Good. That’s so, so good.” Adam looked toward the door. “I should probably go now.”

Ashley stopped him. “Hey, Adam?

“Yeah?”

“Do I really snore?” 

Adam grinned. “You sleep like an angel, but . . . you kiss like the devil, so I’m definitely going before I become the king of hypocrites. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Adam.” She shut the door and leaned against it. Ashley knew there had been others who moved on, and she wondered what could possibly drag anyone away from this glorious man. She went into the bathroom and stared at her reflection, wet and smudged. What did Adam see when he looked at her? Adam had friends. He had family. He had a band, a crew, a staff, an army of fans, . . . and lovers, yes, there were lovers. Adam was surrounded by people who came and went, but a few of them stayed for good and became something permanent. Together, they had a mission. The healing power of Adam’s voice just might enlighten the world. Already, he had reached so many, not just inspiring new ideas, but making real change, and Ashley was helping him spread the love. Ashley picked up her pony and sat on the bed. She studied its innocent face, newly aware of her own singular purpose. Ashley was Adam Lambert’s bass player, the one and only in this world. She belonged to him for as long as he wanted her, needed her. Everything that Ashley had accomplished so far had led her here, to Adam’s side to become a part of his family, his world, to become part of that elite few – the ones who stay. After all the uncertainty over the last several days, Ashley’s future seemed very clear now, and she wiped her tears away.


End file.
